Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
