wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
