Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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