I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Randomize
