You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
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