Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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