i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
