every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
