At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
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