Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
