How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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