Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
He did a backflip because drugs
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