I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
