Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
