I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
