Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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