i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
