She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
id be glad to
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
