So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
handjob tips. give me some.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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