Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
