The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Too much gin, very little bucket
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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