i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
