Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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