Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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