dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
