i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
