After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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