i will never coherently bang her
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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