I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
