Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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