She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
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