I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
