my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
