you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize