Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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