I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
smell my finger.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
