two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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