So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
this is an emotional support booty call
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
