I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize