He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
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