Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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