My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
He did a backflip because drugs
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
