just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
