speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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