Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize