hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
