So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
you didnt know i had herpes?
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
