wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
