she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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