He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
