Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Just high enough for therapy.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
