Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Randomize
