I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
