the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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