how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
