And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize