I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize