I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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