I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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