Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
try to milk me bitch
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