how do flat chested girls get laid?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
