I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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