He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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