You're my little dorito
everyone is single if you try hard enough
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize
