His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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