Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Bang-toberfest begins!!
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
