She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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